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David D. Levine
davidlevine
17 February 2005 @ 12:58 pm
Mecha Jimmy Carter!  
I just learned that Jimmy Carter is about to become the first ex-president to be refitted as a giant robot.

According to this press release from the Navy, "Jimmy Carter will have built-in flexibility and an array of new warfighting features," including a "multimission platform (MMP), which ... will enable Jimmy Carter to accommodate the advanced technology required to develop and test a new generation of weapons, sensors and undersea vehicles for naval special warfare, tactical surveillance and mine-warfare operations." "[T]he 12,130-ton Jimmy Carter is 453 feet in length, has a beam of 40 feet, and can operate at speeds exceeding 25 knots when submerged."

I'm so excited about this news that I might have misread portions of the press release. But even if I've overstated some of Jimmy Carter's new abilities, it's still quite impressive.
 
9 comments | Leave a comment
 
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k[info]channe on February 17th, 2005 01:07 pm (UTC)
As a journalist and former PR flack, I find that hilarious.
Ulrika[info]akirlu on February 17th, 2005 01:59 pm (UTC)
Reado
I initially read that as MECha Jimmy Carter. Seemed unlikely, as he's pretty Wonderbread.
David D. Levine[info]davidlevine on February 17th, 2005 04:59 pm (UTC)
Re: Reado
[*]
Ulrika[info]akirlu on February 17th, 2005 06:51 pm (UTC)
Re: Reado
It's not clear what part you don't get. Are you not familiar with the Movimiento Estudiantil Chicano de Aztlán (MEChA) galaxy of allied Chicano student groups, or did my reference to Jimmy Carter as Wonderbread (as in white bread, as in, totally not ethnic) confuse you?
David D. Levine[info]davidlevine on February 17th, 2005 07:12 pm (UTC)
Re: Reado
The former. For some inexplicable reason the Chicano student group alliance did not occur to me.

No, wait, I lied. It's quite explicable.
[info]shawn_scarber on February 17th, 2005 03:40 pm (UTC)
Finally, Jimmy Carter's going to be able to kick some ass. Never thought I would hear myself say that.
Dr. Rivka[info]rivka on February 17th, 2005 04:17 pm (UTC)
Presumably he'll be ideal for peacekeeping missions.
David D. Levine[info]davidlevine on February 17th, 2005 05:00 pm (UTC)
Imagine the good he could have done during the recent election.

(I'll let you decide which recent election I'm talking about.)
Bill Humphries: Got Wings?[info]whumpdotcom on February 17th, 2005 05:36 pm (UTC)
Mobile Suit Jimmy Carter
Man, all he needs is a cheesy J-Pop theme song, and he's all set!